Should the truth come out?

I have to make a decision.
It's not a decision I want to make.
I wish it never even came down to this.
I have no idea what to do.
While I want everything to be nice and at least cordial, like it's always been, I also want for him to know the truth and accept me for me.
The only frame of reference that I have for this is my brother's coming out...which was a disaster.
I just don't know the best way to tell my father that I don't know what I believe...but I'm pretty sure it's not what he believes.

The realities of Love

Someone told me something about marriage that made me stop and think today.
She told me to think of the worst attribute in the one I love, afterward telling me I should multiply it by 10.
This, she said, is what marriage will be like.
She said if something bothers me about him, to not marry him.
That sounds a little cynical to me...for who has attributes everyone loves all the time.
A saying popped into my head as I was writing this...you can't please everybody all of the time, only some people some of the time.
So what if he has some annoying qualities, I love him.

And I know the difference between being in love and loving someone.
I'd say being in love is a bit more selfish than loving someone.
A person in love is a person who gets high off of the other, it's the feelings of butterflies and that deep heart beat. While they don't only want that, I'd say it's pretty close to number one on the agenda.
But Love is more than that.
And anyone who loves someone knows what I am talking about.
For instance: the Love of a mother, a sister, a friend, a significant other....all of it has at least one thing in common.
That this love makes that person care about this other person, at times above themselves.
A mother wants the best for her child, and is willing to go to lengths beyond her happiness to make sure that happens.
A sister wants her sibling to be happy, she cares about him and is severely saddened when she finds out he's hurting himself.
A friend is supportive and understanding because she doesn't want to see her friend hurt.
I, as a girlfriend, want the best for him. I know that may mean forsaking our relationship because he has to go to school elsewhere...and however selfish I am, to want to stay with him....because of that high that being in love brings...love brings me back to Earth. I want to follow him. I want to be happy with him, but reality may be different. Fate may have different plans for us. And if that's what is best for him, I'm okay with that. Because I love him, I'm okay with it, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt.

I'd be lying if I said I can't find anything I don't like about him.
Sometimes I get annoyed by him.
Sometimes I wish he wouldn't play video games so much.
Sometimes I don't want him to be annoyed with me when I want a little bit of attention.
Sometimes I wish he would be more open with me.
Somebody told me he was boring.
But I'm not bored by him.
I love that he likes to do his own thing, just like I like to do mine.
We can't always be doing everything together.
We can't become one person.
I need to be myself just as much as he needs to be him.
And I don't want to change whatever he is.
If any change is to be made in either one of us, it should be because we see room for self improvement.
I want to be that woman that inspires him to be the best man in the world.
I think I can do it, too.
For him and for me.

So far away...

Have you ever missed someone so much you can actually feel them in your arms?
That your heart longs so much, that it hurts your body, and your brain relieves your pain with a simple hallucination?
Sleeping together is never a problem.
Safe in his arms I fall into both wild dreams and short nights.
I'm always awoken by his kiss in the morning.
His tenderness and thoughtfulness inspire me.
I wish, at this very moment, to be beside him.
To caress his scratchy face and soft head of hair.
I wish, more than anything, that he was holding me close as we both fall asleep to the soft mumblings of the television.
To lie awake with one of his arms wrapped around my waist and the other beneath my neck, supporting my head.
I wish we were together tonight, and for the rest of the weekend.
To enjoy each others company now and forever more.
To be with him always.
As he is constantly in my heart, mind, and soul.
I wish to wander his dreams tonight, as he does mine.
For his dreams to become my home, as he lives in mine.
He's everywhere around me, and I wish to be that for him.

I know I love him, and tonight I've seen how he loves me. :)
<3

Death of a family member

I'm not sure what to rant about this time.

Do I think all dogs need to be locked up with the key thrown into depths unreachable to all life?

I think pitbulls and any combination thereof need that exact treatment.

They destroy lives.

My cat was killed the night before last by my neighbor's pitbull, and I think my love for dogs died with my cat.

I know it may sound crazy, but Waffles was my best friend for a long time. He listened to me when I needed to talk to somebody. He was there for affection when I needed to be reminded that I'm loved by something. He was the best cuddle buddy I have ever witnessed. He was the all around best friend I could ask for.

Then he went missing for quite some time...which was very unlike him.

I thought he had run into hiding because that big mean dog next door was out again. Because of that loud bang on the front porch that very night.

He had gone into hiding, but that was before the bang...that bang was the dog finding my poor baby and running into the porch to kill him.

The next morning we found him. Fortunately I wasn't the one to find him, but the news hit me hard all the same.

My cat was dead.

My best friend.

My baby.

Gone.

And why?

Because this mangy dog got loose and couldn't be caught until it was too late for Waffles.

Taking in his food and water bowl was painful beyond words.

Walking up to the house stops me in my tracks because he doesn't jump up onto the porch to greet me.

At dinner time I only have one pet to feed.

My entire daily schedule is messed up because of that foul beast.

My friend that I relied on comfort in times like this gone.

I loved him so very much, and for him to be taken like this is outrageous.

Dogs like my neighbor's are dangerous, and if they are to be continued to be allowed to be bred and taken care of, stricter laws need to be put in place and enforced to keep the rest of society safe.

Maybe if this does happen my cat will not have died in vain.